Carson Myntti

where fashion and comedy collide

styling

Stripes for days

/ Blog+ Styling

Hi hey hello!

It’s Carson, back at it again, here to talk to you about stripes! Stripes of all kinds: nautical, clashing, yellow, brown, pink, the hamburglar kind, oh and have you found Waldo recently? (I think he has a tv show now). But before we get into it, I do want to keep you updated on my name change feelings because this blog started as a way to process new information out loud and I’m not trying to forget my roots!

So, I’ve been feeling a sense of melancholy. Here comes the grief, the inevitable feelings of loss that follow change. It hasn’t been a wave, just a few short cries here and there, a sort of slow stream of woe, something that feels like a tempered release of pressure. The source of this sadness became clear to me recently because I’ve been overhearing people talking about/to other Carson’s. I’ll be clearing a table at my serving job and hear a loud, “When’s Carson coming?” from a couple tables over. Clearly they aren’t talking about me, I’m already here, but it does immediately distract me and put me in my head. Wait what? Oh right. Don’t forget about this life-changing decision you made! So the name feels a little foreign at times because it doesn’t only belong to me, like the last one did. But I have to remember that this was kind of the point. I’m unique enough as it is (flips hair), and in my very social lifestyle, I wanted a name that was simply easier to use and more gender neutral. It has made my life more efficient! (I promise this isn’t nazi-coded). Plus, I personally love the new branding (you can call me a sell-out though).

They say it’s about the journey or something right? I’ve enjoyed the process tremendously and it’s made me less afraid to pursue my business plans because I know I can handle paperwork, which feels like the extra long route to a pretty short shot, but we all have our ways okay! I do believe this sensation will lessen, and I will just smile at the loud shouts of “Yo, Carson!” thrown across the room by a twenty year old Georgetown student I’ve never met. Or so that’s what the Kate’s of the world tell me.

Cool, YAY! Thanks for listening to me reassure myself and reiterate my motivations for this decision. NOW LET’S TALK STRIPES ~

Let’s begin with some history and instantly recognizable examples stripes throughout pop culture.

Once upon a time, when I was living in Larchmont, I was walking down the street and a man looked me in the face, then told his toddler son, “and that person looks like an old timey burglar.” I thought it was was kind of funny, but he was not laughing. So rude and annoying because then I couldn’t wear that striped shirt and black baseball cap combo anymore without seeing it.

Upon further review, the zebra stripe’s relation to burglars & thieves dates back to the middle ages, but were popularized in the 1820s when the black and white horizontals were introduced as the uniform of prison inmates in New York. It made them stand out. Then the Hamburglar furthered the idea in 1971 when he joined the McDonald’s universe. In my defense, I didn’t grow up in the states so how was I supposed to know?? Do you know this McDonald’s jingle? DIDN’T THINK SO! Jokes on him though, because I burglared tf out of his four bedroom house that very night.

the t-shirt in question

Moving on…

Next up, we have “Where’s Waldo?” Remember Waldo? Wait, where is Waldo?

Oh sick, found him.

The red and white striped shirt with blue jeans bring back such a specific visual memory. Sometimes it’s harder to place, but add the beanie and there he is, instantly recognizable. WALDO! I’m not sure how relevant this reference is anymore but I saw a TikTok about it, so I will believe.

Okay yay for historical evidence! Now here are some more modern day examples of how to style your favorite stripes.

I see you Laura Kelly Trexler

Clish clash, this woman is having fun!! And we love to see it. The stripe clashing works because the size of the stripes vary, differentiating them enough not to overpower the eye with too much of one thing. Plus the denim relaxes the outfit some.

Side note: vests are back in??

Zara coming through with the pin stripe skort

Look at this incredible styling of a rugby shirt. Move over soccer jerseys, give me a heavy cotton rugby shirt to get into it, thank you!!!

from pinterest

Lightweight beach stripes! These are so cozy for the beach. I need a vacation.

pinterest
or alternatively these OAS linen shorts, mmhhhmmmm, let’s never leave the color butter behind

Staying with the nautical theme, look at this beautyy. Fancy rooftop pool party when?

I’m obsessed with this dress because it’s so clever and well designed! It combines the masculine bold stripes with the frayed edges to give it a more relaxed look. Then the line down the center offsets the horizontal emphasis of the stripes to bring it back to a more feminine look. And the low draped belt to lead the eye to the hips, or whichever part of your waist you personally want to highlight on your own body, is just perfection!! It’s hard to create shape with full body horizontal stripes, but somehow Proenza Schouler did it.

So to summarize:

  • Avoid hats while wearing stripes unless you want to go full costume.
  • Nautical themes and stripes pair very seamlessly. This probably has something to do with all the flags they use in maritime traffic.
  • Relax those stripes, babes. Too straight and narrow makes me sad, at a certain point it starts to feel like an order. Luckily there are plenty of ways to loosen the outfit up through silhouette, fabric, fit, and color.

Okay I <3 you guys, gals, gays, and theys!! Now, I go move in silence for another two weeks in order to herd all the pieces of this business into place.

xoxo

Carson

Neckties

/ Blog

thank you cyclical fashion for getting us back here in my lifespan

Hello hello, my internet friends! Happy Monday!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling the anger seep through these last couple of weeks. It may just be the fact that the world as we know it is still being beat to a pulp, but it feels extra dissonant because my day-to-day has become quite calm. I found employment (yay!!), I’m making friends in the city, and I’m feeling very inspired in this writing and design business, so why does my mind still wander into it’s dark corners? Like when I’m waiting for the bus, that creepy little voice slithers it’s way into my head, telling me that I should be afraid of the future.

How do y’all talk yourself through these feelings? It seems like a daily task. Maybe it’s best to just live in the moment, but mommy I’m tired of the moment. Seeking insight, and also maybe a good therapist again.

Before we get back into what I’ve found to be the loudest come back against the oppressive noise (PERSONAL STYLE, BABY) I do want to say thank you so much to the new subscribers, I’m so happy to have you here! And an extra thank you to the new and old subscribers who have parted with their hard earned cash to support this endeavor – it’s being put to good use, I promise! You will soon see 🙂

Today, we are talking about ties! Of the neck variation.

Have you heard? Ties have made a comeback in women’s fashion.

Billie Eilish, Zendaya, and Doechii all rocking ties in their own unique ways.

Moschino SS 2025

For centuries, neckties were a sure sign of a man’s civility. Often a requirement for men in offices, courtrooms, and high school graduations, it’s been the mark of a man who is serious, who is grown. “For a relatively small piece of fabric, the tie receives a lot of attention. That’s because it’s the easiest barometer of formality. If an event requires a tie then that tells you something,” recites this men’s fashion blog as they ponder whether or not the necktie has become obsolete. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic and working from home, huge numbers of men hung up their ties for good.

found this on r/YouShouldKnow

Even as I was purchasing some new neckties at the flea market yesterday, the merchant himself lamented that no one in his office wore ties anymore. “They’re such a fun way to spice up a boring outfit,” he said (or at least that was the sentiment).

So whether or not ties are going out of fashion in menswear, women are finding their way to the accessory and running with it. Vanessa Friedman, who writes the Open Thread newsletter for NYT, very concisely wrote:

Women have been wearing ties with varying degrees of enthusiasm all the way back to the Edwardian era. Still, there is something about the gender politics of the current moment, with the reversion to what seem like midcentury stereotypes, that makes the inversion of old masculine-feminine tropes seem particularly appealing.

Vanessa Friedman

Let’s get back to talking about me: I’ve worn a tie twice in my life, both times the same orange tie. As someone who’s pretty in-your-face about my thoughts on gender norms, this feels like a shame and a missed opportunity. But let me tell you, the first time I wore a tie was a disaster. I was a young queer, styled it poorly, and then started fights (my bad, folks). The second time was for this photoshoot in 2023, which was an absolutely elating experience. As it goes with trying new things, new styles and therefore new feelings, the pendulum has swung back and forth, and hopefully now will begin to settle somewhere in the middle.

Thank you to the inimitable Rachel Martin for these empowering photos.

And though I have no formal dress-to-impress events planned in the near future (ehem), I still want to participate in the trend because as some of you may remember, I’m working my way up to a full suit! To a recognizable formality in this relatively new androgynous look, that I haven’t quite been able to comfortably reach yet in my daily life. So having fun with ties feels like a good step in the right direction.

But as it goes in good art and design, in order to break the rules, we must first learn them. Here are the different styles of tying a tie:

photo from pinterest

(someone prove to me that the capsule knot was not inspired by a Georgia O’Keefe painting).

Another important note about traditional tie wearing is that the end is supposed to hit directly above your belt buckle.

Thanks, Michael.

Okay yay! That was easy. So since we now know the rules of the necktie (and of our assigned genders), now we can destroy them!! I’m going to share some images I found online of stylings I think are done well, to hopefully inspire some more non-traditional tie looks from anyone who wants to try.

~sorry about the following bad quality photos from Pinterest~

I think it’s an ad for coffee?

The color coordination! With the angled textures in the purple skirt matching the angled lines in the tie, this is a slaayyyyy. Sometimes ties and skirts can look a wee school girl, but paired with a maxi skirt and the long coat, this look hits it out of the park. I am woman, hear me roar!!

I love this look because the color scheme with the old time-y jewelry is nicely balanced out by the modern t-shirt silhouette.

Omg wait, I thought this was me for a second lol. But that elevator is too nice and it’s actually Iris Law in a Jean Paul Gaultier SS 2016 Couture suit, way back in 2021.

Tiny tie! The layering with the extra large safety pin to hold it all down is really what got me here. Plus the bad attitude, the bike, and the tough looking jacket contrast the well-secured tiny tie well.

*shoves friend out of the way* – “Can you shut tf up? I think I’m in love.” The structure of this coat! Combined with the eyeglasses and smile, the whole look is so cute.

Okay thrift store darling! A fitted vest with this fish-looking storybook tie, topped off with the earthy cross, this is someone who likes to wander around secondhand bookstores and yearn. Or did I read too deep into it?

And for good luck, I’m going to leave y’all with this Vivienne Westwood look from 1996. Rest in Peace, Queen.

xoxo Carson

Mynt green

/ Blog+ Styling

investigating gold and green around the house and on the internet

Hi friends,

2025 continues to MARCH forward, but at least spring is beginning to peak it’s head out. Whether that means the weather is getting nicer or that you are breaking up with your situationship to go be free outside again, I find myself here in my thirties, sitting on the back porch, trying to get the neighborhood cat to stop harassing my baby cat. Internally, I’m doing every mental gymnastic I know to quell the anxiety of waiting for an employer to call me back. I’ve had time to think and I’ve come to realize that I’ve spent the last ten years feeling my feelings out loud, and though my resume is cool, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to an employer looking for consistency. I’ve done a lot of creative gig work, tried a bunch of different staff positions in different industries, moved cities three times, and learned a lot about humans and our limits, I suppose. “Excuse me, but what does all this mean exactly?” I’ve confused myself a little, honestly.

So what did I do consistently in the last ten years since I graduated college? Speak in public spaces about my feelings through all the adventures, I suppose. Bark bark! And because those feelings have been so meticulously analyzed and expressed, I know myself very well (you’ve heard me brag about this before). It’s something I’m really proud of! It’s a calming perspective, to know how you operate and still like yourself. Sorry, I can’t hear your retort over all these well established boundaries (double brag). But alas, being in tune with your feelings doesn’t make our American capitalistic society run, so this is why I find myself confident, but broke and thirty.

Nonetheless, we persist in an effort to get the money (blame my hungry body), and if my perfectly eloquated feelings aren’t getting me the business deals, it would seem logical to stop thinking about my internal life and start shouting constant vitriol at the top of my lungs to become synonymous with the lowest common denominator. Then I’ll get noticed and win big, right? Well, while I do respect the simplicity and power of the lowest common denominator [meaning the most basic or least sophisticated level of thinking or behavior – a person’s emotional reaction to something, like lust or fear, for example], I’m not in the business of scary movies (yay) or politics (nay). I’m in the business of… housewares? [Candle and website are getting a facelift, stay tuned!!] And it appears the housewares business is less about my personal adventures and feelings (WHINE, FINE) and more about product design and marketing. Lucky for me, it turns out that’s also a game I enjoy!

But we aren’t here to talk about the cash (unless you want to sign-up to be a paid subscriber: I am pushing the pedal to the metal on this blog here in tandem with the product development, and would love the actionable support if you can handle it!)

We are here once again to talk about design! New to scrolling through the substack app, I’ve been finding it to be very inspiring and educational. So much great visual art! So today, I’m bringing you an investigation into two colors, a pairing I find supremely elegant: green and gold. The inspiration comes from the writer Taylor Deaux, who’s blog is very informative and the graphic design is flawless. She’s doing daily posts called “good pairings,” that are aesthetically pleasing combos of textures, colors, visual ~vibes~ and they rock. So I’m copying her idea for this post, thank you Taylor!!

Let’s get into it.

The choice of colors was originally selected based on these two perfume bottles. GREEN AND GOLD. Got them from my grandmother. The gold paint on the vibrant green is so delicate and the flower-like shadow from the gold bottle make me fond of this pairing. I kind of understand why we don’t really use perfume bottles anymore, because what a pain to move your scented liquid from one container into another when perfume comes in such cool containers already these days (plus then you have to remember which is which, and there’s no spray mechanism). But I’m tempted because this stately floral green container would compliment my Tommy Girl perfume perfectly with it’s bright fresh scent, and Maison Margiela’s Replica Jazz Club in this gold Murano glass?? I feel beyond bougie just thinking about it. ⇣

I hear Murano glass is famous worldwide, made in Italy. Saluti!

Another combo found in our 3810 home, I’m just obsessed with the contrasting shapes and the colors that evoke early spring! ⇣

This cerulean vase comes from Thailand, a gift from Auntie.

If anyone is going to an Eyes Wide Shut party soon (I’d advise against it), or simply a fun a Cinderella story type masquerade ball – this italian place has these beautiful Venetian masks. In a sense, green and gold are both colors found in nature, but in another sense they both reference a high cash value. ⇣

I’m always talking about Italians and their goods. Maybe I study there. 

Speaking of belt buckles! Unfortunately all of my belts are too thicc for this particular buckle, but I love his big face with tiny features, this moon man honestly looks a lot like Edgar Allan Poe himself. The green and gold in this photo are giving old, aged wisdom, been weathered through the years, seen it all type of knowledge.
the buckle has been inscribed on the inside by a person named Benedict in 1974.

I’m always in need of new sneakers and these are the vibe. They are mint green and I’m mynt-TI. Stop asking dumb questions, Janine.

the perfect spring shoe for the courtyard

I found this gorgeous saree just by typing “mint green and gold” into google images, which mostly brings up wedding mood boards. While the options were saturated by mint ice-cream colored chiffon, I found this gown to be the most inviting to the eye. No foreseeable Indian weddings for this whitey coming up, so I, with sadness and respect, look from the outside in (cries in ancestral regret). Nonetheless, I wanted to comment on how the green and gold in this saree are so well balanced with one another, especially with the pops of darker green underneath and in the trim to make it feel more grounded and serious. Maybe one of you readers have an appropriate event coming up!

I’m gonna leave you with this Robert Frost poem, because I love a rhyme and elegantly grieving our fleeting youth.

That’s it for now. Bisous and talk soon,

Carson

6 foot slay

/ Blog+ Styling

meditations on some good outfits after a long month

Heyyo

Happy Turkey Day, how is everyone doing? ?? ???

Let’s address the elephant in the room and get that out of the way: America is in a real tough spot these days! Our defining characteristics of individuality and consumerism are looking more and more like narcissism and a lack of accountability every day. Then on a global scale we continue to be really into firearms, yippee!

The trauma is blunt force y’all, do you feel it too? Do you feel like you’re getting hit on the head with a really heavy and sort of rusty hammer? There’s not a person wielding it, the hammer just follows and floats above you, smacking your forehead when you least expect it.

I wish I was able to inspire some type of confidence and hope into you readers, say “Don’t worry! I’m your superhero now!” But particularly in times like these, my number one power remains dissociation, so I’m finding it hard to string the words together with much conviction. I want to provide you with smiles, but if I’m not dissociating, I’m mad. Who am I mad at? The institution that raised me? No, the jackass who is taking advantage of the institution that raised me. Let’s be real, the institution also has it’s flaws. And the federal government did not raise me, my mother did. So I’m defending myself against my fellow Americans who voted a certain way? That doesn’t feel right though either, because I feel relatively safe in my day-to-day. Like most people, I live in a bubble, and to be honest I feel attached to my bubble because I created it for myself. America!

As you can see, I’m feeling a lot.

My plan: Take an art class, pick my battles wisely, and keep showing up to work.

Let’s hope those public servants use their bureaucratic talents to file specifically those anti-abortion and anti-lgbtq+ bills as slowly as possible. There’s gotta be some other problem that we can focus on – solar panel permits! Probably!!

Before I leave you, I would like to wax poetic about some clothes and hope that helps the pain go away.

Outfits that I find inspiring:

I’ve been watching a lot of basketball to calm myself (thank you basketball). And those tall people sure do know how to dress. Or at least have fun with it.

These pants are wild. The denim looks super comfortable. The green bag, with the touches of pink and Timberland brown. It’s a great rainy day outfit, I want to wear it.

There’s something about men’s basketball, the NBA, that really holds my attention. The WNBA makes me way too jealous, I cannot sit still and watch it. I’m working on it, okay! Still grieving the other timeline where I’m living my best life playing women’s sports professionally, jeez give me a second.

The non-women though! The consequences of the high-rolling athlete life are so far removed from mine I’m able to focus purely on the aesthetics. Plus, my body type is just close enough to Nikola Jokic’s that I can make up fantastical gay dreams about them. I provide the entire emotional arc, and it’s the perfect recipe for escapism.

Here’s a different version of the same style of pants By Adam Small. The silhouette is pleasing, and the textures pair well.

In reality, the way sports broadcasts so effectively use consumerism to distract from shady politics is really bumming me out at the moment. It’s hard to focus on aesthetics when the scales of who we are watching and who controls what we see are so tipped.

But these men carry a lot of bags – like large hand bags. Some briefcases and some backpacks. But Bottega Veneta and those crossbody bags sure do keep me on a treasure hunt.

Eric Bana in a crop top battle outfit.

Have you watched the 2004 action epic Troy recently? A star-studded cast that hold vivid memories from my childhood.

It’s a cropped armor vest and a mid-thigh skirt with fringe. Blues, greys, geometric shapes, and he fights like a professional in it.

Let’s bring back war skirts.

I would also like to highlight Brad Pitt’s hair/wig combo. What color is it? Pure gold.

Sorry to objectify men so much this month, it just feels like the right thing to do.

My struggle right now is figuring out how to find meaning in this shallow society we’ve built for ourselves. But a dear friend reminded me that you don’t have to trust everyone to put something back into your community. You just have to make the first move and follow your gut.

Happy Holidays!

Carson

Fishing

/ Blog+ Styling

who’s got a boat? because the outfit is almost complete

Hello my friends!

This week I went shopping because I needed new work pants (okay fine, twist my arm!!), and found some gems along the way that I am going to share with you today.

I’ve been looking for a garden hat ~

link for this ai gal’s slay

And as I inch closer to form (Hulk Hogan meets Pete Davidson), I’m in desperate need of evening out my redneck tan. You can’t take the bitch out of the sun but you can even out the tan! We are elevating!!

If you’ve been following for the past couple weeks, you saw my post about hiking fits, but I am here today to amend that. A baseball cap will no longer do – I need a wide brimmed hat.

So, this past week while out shopping on LaBrea (this is in LA to be clear) I stumbled upon the Metalwood store. Shout out to Street Night Live (a great shopping newsletter!) for putting me onto them. It’s a small and well laid out store, with a clear vision. I see and head straight to the sun cover hats hanging on the wall and the nice guy at the counter says he wears it for fishing. Not my initial intended use, but it gave me an idea!

my first thought was, “damn, this is goofy.” But quickly, I understood the vibe.
plus these leopard print storm pants -WHERE’S THE PONTOON

Alas, we didn’t buy anything this go around, but will be back! We then headed across the street to the Arc’teryx store.

I found this:

goofy! and so comfortable – also shoutout my Dragula merch

Seeing as Arc’teryx is a serious outdoor brand with high prices, I fell in love immediately. Can’t stop thinking about this girl… The problem is that she’s not actually what I need right now- the brim isn’t thaaaat wide, so I’d have to wear a higher collar than my usual worn out cotton tees, or avoid looking down too much, which in my new shoes, could be difficult.

I had another mission that day, so no hats were purchased, but am surprised by all the good notes I got just shopping around out in the world.

BOAT SHOES

Here’s what cemented my new desire to go fishing – or at least be on a boat and potentially (not necessarily) stabbing worms and throwing a nylon string attached to a long rod into the water and waiting for something to catch.

Have you ever seen

The universe seems to be trolling everyone, because it won’t end world hunger but it will send me the boat shoes I manifested on my instagram stories at a very reasonable price. And in the gay color?? Sitting there, brand new, first thing I saw on the shoe shelf at Buffalo Exchange – this hairy purple suede boat shoe. Have you ever heard a more ridiculous and intriguing description in your life?

To be honest, there was no other way I was going to get a pair of boat shoes. For no reason other than I’ve always associated them with Princeton University. And though I have the utmost respect for the institution, I also have little claim to it. But now that Dionysus has given me an in ~ HAIRY PURPLE SUEDE ~ I’m about to swag my way onto a boat with the rowing teams.

These fascinating creations are Sperry’s, the classic boat shoe brand, but part of their Concepts brand. I do love when tradition swings so far left they come up with wild shit like this. Still figuring out how to style them on a regular basis, but we will get there, I swear to god. Send recs and I will keep you updated.

So team, let’s find a canoe or motorboat because I need somewhere to see what exactly the point of boat shoes are and a place to adorably protect my red neck from getting any redder.

Thanks and talk soon!! <3

Carson

(a mostly misc. publication)